i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
