She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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