ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
