Just fell off a train. Bad.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
