roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
