his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
