Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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