No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
