I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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