He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
