If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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