Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
