Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
