Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
