your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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