he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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