the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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