If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
