I have demons in me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
