So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
