Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
