I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
