You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
