Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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