On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
