Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
