all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
