it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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