i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
