i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
