then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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