just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
