i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
