In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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