Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
