I can tuck mytits in my pants
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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