Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
