I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im drinking this country out of the recession.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
