we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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