Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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