billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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