Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
