So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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