its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
