Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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