Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
