ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
