It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
