i was born a porn star she said
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize