u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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